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Clash of the Titans

Went to see Clash of the Titans last night. What a stupid film. No character development, seriously confusing plot, no emotional investment, pretty naff set design...

AND YET. Every now and then you'd get a good look at Sam Worthington's grime smeared thighs and suddenly it was AMAZING.


From the latest popbitch mailout:

Since late 1990s the Eurovision Song Contest underwent something of a renaissance. Thanks to SMS voting and the addition of central and eastern European countries who were desperate to showcase their music industry and modernity, we've had 10 years of rising viewing figures, fun pop, Lordi and even Europe-wide chart hits. But that's all over. This year it's terrible. We blame the re-installation of juries - this could be 1979 again. Ballads, more ballads, folk music and cruise ship entertainment are back on the bill. Saying that, it was still a shock to see just how bad the UK's contest, song and performers were. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

NOOOO. I've grown to love Eurovision in the past few years, pretty much entirely because of it's rampant insanity. I don't want to watch an international swathe of Joe McElderrys warbling along to tinkly ballads. That's not fun. Will there be anyone running through walls this time? Random ice skaters? Doesn't sound like it.

And yes, I could not believe how god awful our entry is. We suck.


Shaving Ads

There's on advert on the TV that's really annoying me at the moment. It's for Gillette, and it involves a bloke going along to a garage where they fix giant razors (WTF?). His razor is broken, and the 'mechanic' explains to him that his blades are blunt. He's all 'man, how could I have missed that?' And then Gillette flog you a razor. On the stupidity scale it's somewhere above the average car advert but below a comedy tenor singing about car insurance.

I love the lengths ad men go to in order to make cosmetic products for men sound manly and tough. Like the Loreal ad with Matthew Fox. A normal moisturiser ad (by normal I suppose I mean one for women) would talk about replenishing vitality and other such guff. But no, not men's moisturiser. Men's moisturiser refuels your skin, and comes handily packed in manly ice, and Matthew Fox tells you all about it while prancing around a boxing ring for reasons that are never made entirely clear.

Gillette are definitely the worst offenders. And their worst offending advert is the (oddly no longer used, gosh I wonder why) one involving Roger Federer, Thierry Henry and Tiger Woods (hint, he is why) stalking a man. Whenever the man attempts to use any razor other than a Gillette they use the sporty tools of their trade to knock the offending object out of his hands. WHY? What has sport got to do with shaving? But it's nice and manly, and reassures any men watching that worrying about itchy stubble is somehow connected in a vague way with athleticism and sporting triumph and is thus okay to think about.

Not that women's ads are much better. The most ridiculous thing about a lot of women's cosmetic ads these days is the way they include 'the science' when 99.9% of all women watching will have no idea what any of it means. What the hell is a pentapeptide? I have no idea. But Olay sure presumes that I do, because they do love to waffle on about it. My absolute favourite mystery cosmetic ingredient is 'Elastin'. That's an amazing name. God knows what it is or what it does, but that's a name born for anti-aging ads. Probably Elastin does nothing, but the good folks at Garnier/Loreal/Olay/Whatever chucked it in anyway in the sure and certain knowledge that plenty of woman would think 'Elastin... sounds like elastic, my skins a bit saggy, could do with some elastic, SOLD'.



Officially my biggest trauma of the week - getting my hair done for three hours + while having a horrible runny nose and killer cold. There's nothing like not being able to help grossing out a stylist with your constant sniffling and nose blowing. Continually.

Just watched the Brits. Liam Gallagher is a knob isn't he? Alright, so you want to stick two fingers up. Go ahead. But perhaps a bit less with the throwing a heavy pointy metal thing into a crowd of kids.

Really surprised by how grateful and emotional Lady Gaga seemed. Thought she'd probably go with her whole android personality bit for the night, but she was actually very sweet. Perhaps she's feeling a bit sensitive in the wake of Alexander McQueen. Her outfit was insane, in the awesomely OTT sort of way. She deserved the awards, she's been huge this year.

Cheryl Cole singing (well, miming) 'Fight For This Love' while her and her wanker husband are living apart following another scandal courtesy of Ashley Cole's inability to keep it in his pants... that's some bitter irony. Don't fight for this love Cheryl, let it go, it's sour.

It's so hard to pick a favourite performance. Dizzee Rascal and Florence and the Machine were great, so were Jay-Z and Alicia Keys, but my personal favourite was Lily Allen's opener. I think my favourite moment was either Jay-Z thanking the Spice Girls for being a major influence on his music (and thanking the people of Glastonbury 2008! I was there, and he was great) or one of Kasabian getting accidently up close and personal with the floor.



Fandom can be a scary place full of scary people. But it can also be awesome. ontd_startrek and ontd_ai are having an epic battle to see who can raise the most money for Haiti over 48 hours. That? Is awesome. Not only is it charity, it's charity with an endless supply of comedy macros and smack talk. What could be better?

Doctor Who: The End of Time

So I was holding it together pretty well right up until mad spoilersCollapse )

Although we only saw twenty seconds or so of Eleven, they were a pretty awesome twenty seconds in which we ascertained that he's perturbed by his own chin, thinks his hair is girly and that giant fiery crashes are wicked fun. I like him.



I admit, in the closing few weeks to the release of Avatar I'd actually become quite hostile to it. I was sick to the back teeth of hearing about how fantastic this film was going to be. Especially from Cameron. I know the man's ego is legendary, but he was absolutely everywhere banging on about how he'd birthed god's gift to cinema.

However, in the final fews days I'd actually swung right around to looking forward to it. And after an epic misstep involving a cinema blackout, finally went along to see it one snow swept night just before Christmas.

I guess my overall summery would have to be: entertaining. And it really is, I wasn't bored and my eyes didn't roll too often. It's visually stunning, all those millions are right up there on screen. And I absolutely recommend seeing it in 3D - although oddly the most beautiful 3D scene (for me personally) doesn't involve the Na'Vi or Pandora at all, it's in the first minutes of the film involving the humans on their space ship.

That said, there's still a lot wrong with it. Avatar is a triumph of style of substance. And it really is worth seeing for that style, because it's exceptional. But I think over time, as that level of visual effects becomes more and more industry standard and commonplace, it will be unfavourably reassessed. The plot is riddled with cliches, is extremely predictable, and the villian painfully flat and two dimensional. And it's long. Towards the end I started to feel like I'd been there for hours.

But I fully expect there will be an Avatar 2. And I fully expect I'll turn up to see it.


Doctor Who: The End of Time

I know it's been a couple of days since this aired, but I've only just made it out of my turkey and cream liquor daze.

Is it terrible of me to day that I really didn't think much of it at all? The plot was so flimsy. The 'chemicals of ressurection?' That is some lazy McGuffin work right there. None of it made any sense - even in the crazy world of Doctor Who way. John Simm does crazy so well that it was a big shame that it was wasted on basically turning him into one of the X-Men. And David Tennant didn't have much to do other than run around madly and look shocked.

I'm hoping for a big improvement in the next episode. Not only because it's Ten's swansong, but also because spoilers!Collapse )

All in all, this has left me feeling very ready for the era of the Moffat.


F*** You We Won't Buy What You Tell Us

Rage Against the Machine's Killing in the Name is the UK Christmas Number One single! I don't know exactly why I feel this is (weirdly) so important. I think it's something to do with us gobbling up the same shallow shmaltz that we're told to every year. Simon Cowell sits in an office and dictates what we will like. For a viciously anti-corporate song to beat the X-Factor song seems appropriate (although don't get me wrong. I'm well aware that RatM is also signed to Sony - this is definitely just a symbolic victory).

In other news... WTF Brittany Murphy is dead? Did 2009 need to get just one more in or something?


Joe McElderry v Rage Against the Machine

I'm really surprised about how much I want Killing in the Name to be the Christmas no.1 instead of The Climb. It's nothing personal against Joe, I'm just so goddamn sick of some X-Factor driven bit of sickly sweet musically banal crap every damn year. RatM beating him would stand for something - we don't all want generic sound-alike blandness to dominate the pop charts. Originality should count for something.

Actually considering he said this maybe it is a little bit personal against Joe. Hurry up and shuffle off to wherever Steve Brookstien is now.